The one who undertakes to marry embarks on an adventure for the least risky. The couple who marries engages in a path of which he knows nothing. And everything seems to indicate that people who have tried marriage repeatedly do not know more about it the second time than the first time.
Marriage is the foundation of the family unit. In this society, the family is currently the most closely knit entity able to self-destruct and self-protect. Society, as it is constituted today, needs the family for economic and other reasons.
A culture that would abolish its most basic foundation, on which it is built, would be condemned to a certain end. It can, therefore, be reasonably concluded that the destruction of marriage would practically mean the end of civilization.
The marriage relationship is fundamentally a postulated relationship. The word postulate is used in Scientology in the sense of a conclusion that has been drawn, or a decision or resolution that has been made about something.
When spouses cease to postulate the reality of their marriage, it ceases to exist. This is what happens to most married couples. It is not the opposite that occurs. It is not that all men are bad, and that therefore bonds like those of marriage are bound to degenerate into infidelity and eventually to disintegrate.
This is not true. The opposite is true. Any purely postulated relationship must be continually created. And the family that does not continually create itself as a family will eventually cease to exist as such. That’s about all you need to know about it.
When people start having a couple problems, it’s because they expect their torque to work on autopilot. They think he will stand alone, by force of circumstances; unfortunately, it does not work. A relationship is something you have to create.
A marriage exists above all because each partner has postulated its existence and the continuity of its existence. Marriages only succeed when they are based on this principle.
The one whose parents did not get on too well could observe their situation and decide something like this: “Look at this! This fundamentally natural and immutable institution does not perpetuate itself! All this leaves a lot to be desired because it does not hold water.
He feels a failure. He had no doubt tried to apply for the family unit when he was little. He’d been working on it, trying to get some sort of Papa-Loving Mom thing right, trying to show them that they had a reason to live, and so on.
Moreover, it is often the case that a child gets hurt to make his parents realize that they have responsibilities towards their family. Infantile diseases and that sort of thing happen right after family upheaval.
Be that as it may, whether or not his parents gave him the example of a stable marriage has little to do with whether or not he is able to succeed.
If you believe that everything leads to a marriage being perpetuated by the force of things and that you have nothing to do in order to preserve it, you will of course end in its annihilation.
But if you approach the subject by understanding that a marriage is something that you have to postulate and maintain, and that will cease to exist if you stop working on it, and if you know the technology in the following
In this chapter, you can make a marriage last, rehabilitate any aspect of a conjugal relationship, or pick up pieces of a bad marriage, as you see fit.
But it takes work and a certain amount of courage, to say the least.